Conversations……………………

~ with our children~

a gift for all

We have them constantly, right?

But how often do we end up talking at them instead of engaging in an actual conversation. It happens without us even realising that is what we are doing, right?

I’m talking from an early stage, before they can supposedly understand us.
We talk to them as that wee fetus in our womb!
Well, many of us do, 😉I certainly did and I never stopped.

I was having great conversations with my boys about all sorts of things. Especially around food, after losing 2 babies one at 25 weeks and on at 20weeks gestation – then my first son was born 6 weeks early with double pneumothorax and immature lungs. He was ventilated and had chest drains. So, yes pretty scary! Thankfully he made a fairly speedy recovery and was home with us after a month in hospital.

My second son was born only 2 weeks early and healthy, however at 3months he contracted meningococcal meningitis. Yes, pretty dam scary I can tell you! Thankfully, with quick intervention and wonderful care he made a full recovery.

Why am I telling you this and what does it have to do with conversations with your kids?
Because, this is the very reason I started having conversations with my sons from the get go. It was all I could do as they lay there helpless. I would chat away to them as I stroked them just above their ears in a gentle flowing movement, from the top of their ear to the lobe.

It became a habit, as did the conversations.

I would talk to them about what I was doing while preparing dinner, they were always nearby, either in their pram or as they grew in the bouncer either on the floor at a safe enough distance so they could see me and I them or on the kitchen table and sometimes on the counter!
They obviously had no idea what I was talking about but the conversations continued as they grew. I could often be found having great chats in the supermarket about the different foods and what I was buying. Or not buy and why I wasn’t, because they we what I call either non foods or “sometimes” you get to have them. (never as a treat though!).

Obviously as they grew and learned to speak, we have some very funny chats. The older they became the more interesting the conversations became. More along the lines of discussions, disagreements etc. All were good and generally with positive outcomes.

I talked with them very early about why we eat and what the food does to our bodies – the very cells that make us up.

I had a conversation when they were quite young about their taste buds and how they were like little creatures inside their mouths that decided if they like different foods and drinks etc. So, when they tried new foods, we’d say I wonder if they’re going to like this one?

I always had a healthy alternative on their plates and the agreement was they had to try everything new and chew it a couple of times to at least get their taste buds to get flavour so they could see if they liked it.
The disclaimer was that their taste buds changed their minds all the time!! So, they agreed to try the same food every few days or weeks until eventually they acquired a taste for the food they had been trying for weeks. I some cases years! I remember my youngest son coming to see me one day after he’d been flatting for some time to proudly announce that he now like Avocado’s – he had never stopped trying them!

As the years went by, they very quickly realised that they’d been had 😊 however it was second nature for them to try new foods and to keep trying them.

That was our conversation around trying new foods.
I found a book when my boys were about 10 & 11 by Sue Kedgley, “Living Safely in a Toxic World” it was and still is amazing.
It has detailed list of all the additives and food colouring’s, numbers etc. We would read up on some of the products that had loads of preservatives good and bad so when we were shopping, we could check out the ingredients of something we wanted and could see pretty quickly if it was a go or a no, no. Often they would see something and ask for it and if we didn’t know what they numbers meant my youngest would memorise them and race in when we got home to check out if they were a thumbs up or down. Again, you see the conversations we had continually made us all more aware of our health and what we put into these precious bodies of ours and our children.

We also had a great vegetable garden and many fruit trees.
There was a pick an eat section of the vegetables that they could eat at anytime whilst playing outside. As long as it was ripe and not in the family food section, they could eat what and as much as they liked. That included the fruit.
So, I knew if they weren’t that hungry, they had been eating fruit and vegetables during the afternoon while playing!
We talked about the garden, they helped with watering and planting to a degree. They grew up with a good understanding of what types of food feed their bodies and which foods were sometimes food, to be eaten occasionally and sparingly. That way they learned to participate in their own health from a very early age and grew up with a love and understanding healthy nutritious food.

We would have great chats whilst dinner was being prepared. I explain what I was cooking why I was putting one vegetable with another etc. They helped out and enjoyed being part of the process.

As they became old enough, they needed no encouragement to get stuck in an prepare a delicious meal.

We created so many wonderful memories and still have fun together in the kitchen when we gather for meals, this is something you can not put a price on, such a gift for us all!

Our conversations were not always on food, we would often talk about their feelings, because they felt comfortable in our conversations. They felt safe sharing what ever was bothering them and also the good times.
We had a motto you had to have “FUN” everyday and at the dinner table we shared the “FUN” we’d had that day 😊
It is so important to prepare your food in a happy grateful state and eat it in the same way. That’s why I am a big fan of eating around the table with the whole family, devices off and out of the room, unless you require it nearby for emergency purposes. This includes TV, soft easy background music is fine, I prefer the chatter of my family and friends, laughter and the enjoyment of being together feeding and nurturing our bodies and minds.
Great food, great conversations and that sense of love that comes from being happily together is so healthy, both physically and emotionally.
I truly hope if you don’t already do this, you begin to now.
It may take some time before you get the total by-in from everyone, just keep going, don’t give in or up.

Have the conversation and just do it, it may take a while and even if you begin with one day at a time one meal at a time. Just begin and keep going, I promise you after a month or so it will become the most natural thing it your life.

We still have great conversations when we are together about food, recipes and love connecting around mealtimes and either cooking together or for each other. Still the conversations flow as does the laughter!

Our conversations will continue when my youngest son Christopher, his wonderful fiancé Kelsey and my grandson arrive back from London.
Then I’ll be having them with my wee grandson, looking forward to many of those and family meals and fun times together.
Here’s to great conversations, creating healthy meals, great memories and happy, well families.

I hope to hear some stories in the years to come how this one thing changed so much in your family’s lives.